So I know I'm supposed to be in London and enjoying the finest things life has to offer since I'm in my early 20s and I might only be here once in my life. BUT. I can't help but stress about my future. I've been looking for summer internships these past few weeks and have been trying to get all my ducks in a row. Last week I applied to the Metropolitan Museum of Art (fingers crossed) and I just sent in an application to the Baltimore Museum of Art. I have a few more lined up that I'll finish within the week and then I have to play the waiting game. That's really the part I hate the most. Why can't they just tell me right away whether or not they want me or not?! It's like applying to college all over again. I just want this constant struggle for summer internships to stop, but then I remember that for that to happen I have to start getting a job in the "real world" and that concept just really freaks me out.
Then there's the question about going to Grad School and what would be the best grad school for me. As much as I've always wanted to grow up and not be a kid, it's terrifying to leave that security. A few months ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about what our greatest fears were and his was the unknown. I could not agree more. I just hate the uncertainty of the future. Can't we just speed up time when I already have an awesome job in the curatorial department of an awesome art museum? But time doesn't work like that does it. I've decided just to breathe and do what I can in the present to ensure that my future will be everything I want it to be. I'm just going to be more positive about the whole situation. I don't think a song better shows this positive move like the one above. I've been listening a lot to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. It was playing just as I sent my BMA application in and I couldn't help but dance. Miss Amanda said that was the happiest I had ever been, and I think she's right. I believe I can enjoy the present while anticipating the future. It's just important to balance the two out. Has anyone felt this way before? How do you cope with it?
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